Happiness At Work #121 ~ Freeing Your Voice

This week’s theme gathers recent stories and videos that all speak to the importance of freeing our voices and finding effective ways to be heard, seen and understood, along with some helpful techniques for going about this with courage, credibility and charisma.

Some of the stories and commentary that caught my attention from this year’s World Economic Forum at Davos make our headline stories in this week’s new Happiness At Work collection.  I have highlighted those that carry the new voices that can be heard with increasing resonance and authority amidst the more familiar agendas and rhetoric we might expect to come from a gathering of the great and good from the global business world, still predominantly older men in in suits.

These voices include a call to action to release and harness the still much much greater power and presence that women have to play in our work and leadership, the need to mix things up with a richer diversity of voices from the outside, from the fringes, from the edges, and the need to make conversations that join voices and unify thinking into the complex new solutions for the world we are continually having to reach for.

From outside the happenings of Davos 2015, I have also included some remarkable people who have found their voices – Morgana Bailey’s courageous stepping out of hiding, and Martin Bustamante, one of the prison inmates from Cristina Domenech’s poetry classes performing his own poem for a TED audience – as well as Julian Treasure’s practical masterclass in how to free and fire up your voice so that people will listen.

What it Feels Like to be a Woman at Davos in 2015

As Poppy Harlow reports from the event for The Guardian…

Davos is a gathering of great minds and change-makers from across the globe, and its theme this year was “the new global context”. The focus takes in everything from fighting terror to addressing the growing income divide. But this year just 17% of participants at this invitation-only summit are female; an increase on 15% in 2014, but still far too small a number. Meanwhile, on the Fortune 500 list, just 3.4% of corporations have female CEOs. Clearly, there is work to do.

In 2010 WEF introduced a new policy allowing corporations to bring a fifth senior leader to the summit (as opposed to the general limit of four), as long as both men and women were in the delegation. Progress has been made with initiatives like this, but the event remains dominantly male.

Facebook’s VP of global marketing Carolyn Everson thinks change will come. She told Fortune, “In the coming years, the number of attendees who are women will rise, as the conversations that are taking place all around us today are going to fundamentally impact the path for women in the future.” …

There’s a lot of work – game-changing work – being done by the women here at WEF. This is a place that humbles just about everyone because it’s hard to digest the calibre of many of the attendees and the magnitude of change for the better they are striving for.

WEF’s mission statement says it is “committed to improving the state of the world through public-private cooperation.” And as Ann Cairns tweeted: “men and women make truly productive teams.” Let’s hope in the coming years they will also be equal in number.

Link to read the full article

Why We Need New Allies For Gender Equality

In her address to the conference, Phumzile Mlambo-Ngcuka said…

Given the paucity of women currently in positions of political leadership (just 22% of the world’s parliamentarians are women), it is hardly surprising that obstacles – practical and psychological – remain to more women joining them. We know that in too many cases still, girls are leaving school without competitive qualifications, and that even when girls do make it to tertiary education, gender-based violence and intimidation on campus is a daunting prospect.

Yet these young people are the change agents of our future, and this recognition is reflected in initiatives springing up globally, large and small.

Read the full article

Derek Handley: Davos Has A Diversity Problem

In this video clip you can hear maverick world changer and frustrated partygoer, Derek Handley, Adjunct Executive Professor for AUT University, talking about his work, his dreams for a more socially and environmentally proactive business model, and his view disappointment in the lack of diversity at Davos….

“I spent most of the time outside the main event meeting people in all the different environments,” he said. “My main takeaway is it’s a really interesting place and there are amazing people here, but there is a diversity problem, and I think it’s a significant issue.”

He took issue with the fact that most attendees of Davos are men, and also said the annual meeting lacks artists – people who are in the problems themselves.  Because those people can’t afford to be here.

The best ideas always come from the fringe…  Let’s mix up the really interesting and powerful people who are here with some very diverse perspectives and focus hard on that if we really want to create a very productive and flourishing century.

Link to watch this video

3 Forces Shaping the University of the Future

In her address, Drew Gilpin Faust said “Higher education is the strongest, sturdiest ladder to increased socio-ecomonic mobility…

Higher education is essential for a thriving society: it is the strongest, sturdiest ladder to increased socio-economic mobility and the locus, through research universities, of most of the major discoveries of the last two centuries.

At a time when access and affordability are more consequential than ever before, the world’s colleges and universities are facing a changed landscape. Three forces are creating possibilities and challenges that will define the future of one of humanity’s most enduring and most trusted institutions:

The influence of technology…

Residential education—working and living alongside one’s peers and mentors—cannot be replicated online. When I speak with alumni, they often reflect on serendipitous moments that changed the way they thought about themselves and their place in the world. More often than not, those moments happened in a common space or a classroom, a dining hall or a dorm, laboratory or lecture hall. Being together and sharing experiences no matter one’s surroundings.

The changing shape of knowledge…

What matter most in these moments, and in so many others, is recognising the extraordinary scope of expertise that humanity has at its disposal—and bringing the best minds together to work through problems and develop solutions, amplifying the possibilities for discovery inherent in all of their dimensions.

The attempt to define the value of education…

Higher education lifts people up. It gives them a perspective on the meaning and purpose of their lives that they may not have developed otherwise. Is it possible to quantify this experience, to communicate its value through a set of data? No. But it is among the highest and best outcomes of higher education. We must continue to prepare the next generation of thinkers and doers to navigate the world using evidence and reason as their guide, understanding their work in the broadest context possible as they imagine and define their purposes. We must continue to help humanity transcend the immediate and the instrumental to explore where human civilisation has been and where it hopes to go.

So much of what humanity has achieved has been sparked and sustained by the research and teaching that take place every day at colleges and universities, sites of curiosity and creativity that nurture some of the finest aspirations of individuals and, in turn, improve their lives—and their livelihoods.

As the landscape continues to change, we must be careful to protect the ideals at the heart of higher education, ideals that serve us all well as we work together to improve the world.

Link to read this article

And in 3 Ways To Fix Our Broken Training System Alexis Ringwald, Co-founder and Chief Executive Officer of LearnUp, signals the changing times in her call for training that is more employer-driven, responsive an on demand.  She writes…

In the future, we will move closer to an education model that is truly responsive to the needs of employers, jobseekers and the international labour market. Only then will we solve the skills gap and the information gap and reduce the burden of unemployment.

Let the change begin.

Link to read the full article

From Spreading Happiness to Saving the Planet, the Rise and Rise of Pharrell

Some uncharitably wondered whether Pharrell Williams had entered into a new, messianic phase of his career – one typically signalled by joining a society of billionaires and retired political figures in the Swiss ski resort of Davos. Others said the global hitmaker was too cute to go along with anything that smacked only of an ego trip.

“I think you guys know how serious the global warming thing is, and so for us we’re taking it very seriously, and we wanted to do something very different this time,” Pharrell said in Davos. What he means by having “humanity harmonise all at once” might remain slightly mysterious, but organisers say they expect 100 acts performing before a broadcast audience of two billion people across seven continents, including Antarctica.

Pharrell, whose song Happy was the bestselling single of 2014 and who was recently described by US GQ as “a quiet little Egyptian space cat of a dude”, is known for getting things done – at least in music.

As the magazine recently described, besides being a pop star in his own right he has become a kind of a musical consultant for other artists who guides you toward your “twinkling star”…

Pharrell says the trick in producing other people is to drop his ego. “I say to the artist, whether it be Beyoncé or Usher, what do you want to do? And when they tell me, I say, OK, let’s do it like this. It’s real simple.”

Like Prince, Pharrell surrounds himself with women – his assistant, Cynthia Lu; art director Phi Hollinger; and Fatima Robinson, his choreographer.

“Women have a way of expressing themselves that I can relate to more honestly,” he told GQ. “I am a sensitive person, so I want to be with sensitive people.”

Pharrell appears to be settling into his role as a multimedia prophet. He has given himself over to invocations of pseudo-mysticism, recently explaining: “It’s all math. You have a certain number of bones in your body. You have seven holes in your face. There are nine planets, a sun, trillions and trillions of galaxies. Everything quantifies to numbers.” He’s been described as pop’s Bill Clinton – “a masterclass in charm and empathy”.

Link to read the full article

Morgana Bailey: The Danger of Hiding Who You Are

Inspiring and deeply moving, Morgana Bailey’s presentation shows the vital importance of openness, embracing difference and daring to be heard for our happiness at work – and much much more…

Morgana Bailey has been hiding her true self for 16 years. In a brave talk, she utters four words that might not seem like a big deal to some, but to her have been paralyzing. Why speak up? Because she’s realized that her silence has personal, professional and societal consequences. In front of an audience of her co-workers, she reflects on what it means to fear the judgement of others, and how it makes us judge ourselves.

Cristina Domenech: Poetry that frees the soul

We all have a voice and we all have things of power and beauty to say with it.  But some of us will find it harder than others to find, free and trust our own voices.  Here is a success story of great empowerment where this has been achieved.

“It’s said that to be a poet, you have to go to hell and back.” Cristina Domenech teaches writing at an Argentinian prison, and she tells the moving story of helping incarcerated people express themselves, understand themselves — and glory in the freedom of language. Watch for a powerful reading from one of her students, an inmate, in front of an audience of 10,000. In Spanish with subtitles.

Julian Treasure: How to speak so that people want to listen

In this presentation sound and listening expert Julian Treasure provides his guide for releasing your full voice at its best sets, and his vocal warmup for tuning up before an important speaking engagement – see from 4’16”

Before this he sets out his top tips for increasing your impact and influence as a speaker.

Have you ever felt like you’re talking, but nobody is listening?

Here’s Julian Treasure to help you fix that. As the sound expert demonstrates some useful vocal exercises and shares tips on how to speak with empathy, he offers his vision for a sonorous world of listening and understanding.

To Change the World: Steve McCurry’s Photos

Steve McCurry’s collection of photos showing moments of study and learning across the globe…

“Only the educated are free.”  Epictetus

“Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.”  William Wordsworth

Link to see Steve McCurry’s photos

Happiness At Work #121

All of these articles, and many more, are collected together in this week’s new Happiness At Work edition #121 which you can see here

Happiness At Work #120 ~ remembering to breathe

Welcome to our first new Happiness At Work collection for 2015.

This week I have pressed the pause button to take a moment to reflect on the importance and value of taking the time to breathe.

In my work in both communications training and sound design I have come to recognise the enormous potency and power of silence, not merely as the absence of sound, but much much more as a very open, vital and often expertly held presence.

Great listening is quiet and still and held and full of energy.

And giving ourselves regular moments with our foot off the accelerator is essential to our forward advancement towards the meaningful success we seek and the happiness and resilience at work we need to make it.  This can equally mean formally as a time of mindfulness or meditation, or as a pit stop in your day to stop and reflect and recognise what you have achieved or done well before considering what will be the very best use of your time now, or the ongoing delicate and difficult work of finding and keeping the right balance, however this is defined for you.

Or, sometimes, it is simply taking a moment to more fully notice and enjoy our own breathing.

As the new year winds itself up into another twelve months of what will undoubtedly be sometimes frantic busy-ness, I have drawn together recent articles that all bring some ideas about the why’s and how’s of remembering to make ourselves moments of stillness and quiet that are much much more than simply the absence of activity.

Five simple steps to a better work-life balance in the new year

by Lottie O’Conor

Welcome to January, that wonderful month of the year when anything seems possible – at least until your first day back in the office, when you realise there are weeks of freezing weather ahead and not a holiday in sight. Work can be tough this month, as memories of mince pies and Christmas film marathons retreat into the distance, to be replaced by deadlines, meetings and dark evenings hunched over a laptop. While I don’t believe in grand, sweeping New Year’s Resolutions, a few simple changes can help to make the next few wintery months a little more bearable.

Leave the office at lunchtime

We’ve all somehow got used to being bound to our desks and either skipping breaks completely, or using them for yet more screen time by scrolling through Facebook. Breaking this habit, even for a few minutes, can give you a fresh perspective and renewed energy.

Write shorter lists

First, stop putting things on your list that you do without thinking. “Check emails” does not need to be written down. Take longer to consider what you can realistically get done in the day ahead; then write down only what you actually need to do – not the million other things to be done at some point in the future. The aim is to cross off everything on a list by the end of the day, or at least try to. Ever-increasing lists do nothing for your sense of balance or efficiency.

Make use of your “out of office” email response

If you are so busy that you can’t do anything else, let people know and they will adjust their expectations. If they get no answer from you all day, they will push harder and make more demands. Far better to let them know straight away that you are in meetings all morning, so that they can adjust their expectations accordingly.

Get up 15 minutes earlier

We all assume we have no time, yet we spend hours wasting it: watching mindless TV, on social media, or repeatedly set the alarm to snooze. Those few extra minutes could be the difference between arriving at work refreshed and ready to face the day, and being face down in a cup of coffee until 11am.

Stop trying to be liked, concentrate on being respected

If you only make one change this month, it should be this one. We waste a huge amount of time and energy in the workplace trying to please others: not saying no when we should, not taking credit where credit is due, not asking for a well-deserved pay rise for fear of looking pushy.

Imagine how much we could achieve by taking a step back from the politics and using that energy more productively, redirecting it back towards our work. The ultimate mark of success in the working world isn’t about being the person in the office everyone wants to go for a beer with, it’s about being the one that others aspire to emulate. This comes from creativity, passion, talent and delivering real results.

Link to read this article

also by Lottie O’Conor, see:

Early nights, technology bans and meditation: in search of Arianna Huffington’s ‘third metric’ of success

How A 2-Minute Exercise Can Redirect Your Brain Toward Happiness (VIDEO)

Short short clips of Shawn Achor Talking to Oprah Winfrey

“The more time you spend in silence and stillness you’re going to have exponential benefits…” Oprah Winfrey

Happiness Expert Shawn Achor on Shutting Out the Noise

Super Soul Sunday episode with Shawn Achor Talking to Oprah Winfrey

Harvard-trained researcher Shawn Achor says that living in an electronic, hyperconnected world can, of course, get very noisy. When the many sources of noise are combined, it becomes a deafening roar blocking us from true happiness. Watch as Shawn explains why we need to turn down the incessant sound before we can begin processing the meaning of life.

Link to watch this video

5 Reasons To Practice Mindfulness in 2015

Lisa Langer outlines the top reasons why she sees the growing popularity and success of Mindfulness practice…

Of all the ancient and modern practices designed to wake us up, why has the simple practice of Mindfulness and Mindful Meditation arrived at the forefront of our cultural sensibility?

Why is it taking hold so strongly in our healthcare, academic and business institutions? What makes Mindfulness so compelling, grabbing our minds and our hearts, not letting us go?

Over 25 years ago when Jon Kabat-Zinn began sitting and adapting Zen Buddhist mindfulness practices to the healthcare arena at UMass Medical Center and writing Full Catastrophe Living, no one and certainly not he, could have predicted the Mindful Revolution (Time Magazine, February 2014) of today.

Why are we now sharpening the lens of mindfulness, polishing the glass and more willing to see the full catastrophe thru a mindful eye than ever before??

Why not yoga?? (although popular) Why not Tai Chi?? (also popular) or boot camp, spinning, running, Zumba???

Here is why:

1. Mindfulness is FREE (in more ways than one)

Not only is mindfulness free, it is “free-ing.” The practice of mindful meditation, when practiced with commitment, is a sure-fire way to help liberate us from our reactive states of mind and emotions.

2. Mindfulness IS SIMPLE, practiced anywhere and everywhere without equipment.
If you’re are breathing, you are able and capable of practicing mindful meditation. If we are alive then we are breathing. Simply follow your in breath and out breath.

3. Mindfulness is FLEXIBLE, practiced solo, or it can also be a group activity
Not only is it flexible, the practice of mindfulness helps create a more flexible and open mind and body. Period. We become less reactive and more able to see our usual patterns of thought and behavior

4. Mindfulness itself is ORGANIC – a word very popular today. Breath-based and derived from the simple ground of our living.  Self-explanatory and certainly healthy!

5. Mindfulness is RELAXING – or it teaches us to relax.  We live in a busy often-anxious culture.  Usually more focused on “doing” versus “being”.

A regular mindfulness practice helps restore the states that we lived as children, happy, free, and simple.

Link to read the original Huffington Post article

Harvard Study Unveils What Meditation Literally Does To The Brain

How do you find stillness? We asked TED speakers—and want to hear from you too

by: Kate Torgovnick May

We all lead lives that move 1,000 miles per minute. In his TED Book, The Art of Stillness, Pico Iyer posits a bold idea: that in our chaotic time, the greatest luxury is actually the ability to go nowhere and do nothing. To Iyer, it’s this time for quiet, inward, still reflection that snaps all of our experiences into focus.

This got us curious: how do members of the TED community find time for stillness and reflection? Turns out that people had very different answers. 

“I hike,” said our curator Chris Anderson. “Water, pine trees, cliffs, meadows… doesn’t matter. All nature will do. Walk a little, dream a little.”

Brené Brown (watch her TED Talk on the power of vulnerability) has a similar approach. “One of the most important practices in my life is swimming. It’s exercise, meditation, and therapy in one. It’s quiet and I’m completely unavailable,” she said. “I also love photography. I know that I’m moving so fast that I blow past extraordinary beauty everyday. When I have my camera in my hand I slow way down and pay attention to small things.

For Dilip Ratha (watch his TED Talk which stole our hearts at TEDGlobal), it’s listening to music. “Mostly Hindi and Odia songs from the days I was growing up in India,” he says. “These songs take me back to the days of hopes and dreams and poetry. I also listen to boleros from Latin America and Western songs with good lyrics. ‘Poetry and friendship are the two greatest sources of sweetness,’ says an ancient Sanskrit proverb.”

And for Kelly McGonigal (watch her TED Talk on making stress your friend), yoga and meditation help, but she has another strategy too. “People-watching,” she explains. “I like to go out to the park or walk down the street when people are opening up shops, and watch people engaging in rituals of caring for people or places or objects. The morning street cleaners with their brooms; people walking dogs; parents attending to their children’s busy hands in line at the coffee shop. I find it incredibly calming and inspiring. It’s a meditation I do everyday.”

And then there’s another camp of TED community members who simply aren’t that fond of stillness at all. Hans Rosling (who has given 10 TED Talks) says, “I don’t bring stillness to my life, because there will be plenty of time for stillness after death, when there is nothing else to do.”

Ben Goldacre (watch his TED Talk about bad science) agrees. “I fight stillness every step of the way,” he says. “I wash up wearing a bluetooth headset for podcasts. I read my phone in the bathroom. Before proper technology, I read books while walking down the street.  I want more data, more facts, more fun, and more life.”

10 Ways to Get Out of a Funk in 15 Minutes

By Paresh Shah

We all have off days from time to time. It’s human nature. But barring the occasional disaster or tragedy, a bad day is really only bad if you decide to stay in that frame of mind. As Martha Washington put it, “The greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions and not upon our circumstances.”

In reality, there are some simple actions that can put a positive spin on things and flip your switch from “ugh” to “awesome.” Here are a few things that can help you turn your day around.

1. Create Your Own Talisman

I have an electric guitar in my office. I’ll slap my headphones on and play my guitar to snap out of lethargy or bad moods—or to simply help my brain start solving problems. Find a physical object that you puts you in a happy, energized state. In A Few Good Men, Lt. Daniel Kaffee needed his baseball bat to think best. You likely have something similar, and it’s not only OK but essential to use props like these to get out of a funk. If you’re stumped, consider Play-Doh, a doodling pad, or a toy you loved as a child.

2. Make Connections

Instead of glancing over your News Feed, try making a connection with someone real. Even chatting with the barista at your local coffee shop can help put you in a good mood. At my company, we make it a habit to touch base with one another before getting down to business. Sharing something that’s inspired us or that we’re grateful for during the day not only helps form human connections and build a positive atmosphere, but also makes our meetings shorter, more productive, and action-oriented.

3. Make Someone Else’s Day

Choose a person—whether you know him or not—and decide to make his day with a random act of kindness. Leave a note to brighten someone’s day, pay for someone’s coffee in line, or buy extra muffins and distribute them to your team members. Ask a co-worker if you can help her with something. Giving to others and appreciating what we’ve been given are two of the shortest paths to shaking yourself out of a bad mood. On that note:

4. Express Gratitude

Whether you do it in person, over the phone, via social media, or just in your own head, taking a moment to express gratitude leads to improved health, happiness, relationships, and income. A popular restaurant in Los Angeles, Café Gratitude, has its staff practice this every day, and it has one of the highest levels of customer and worker satisfaction in the business.

5. Daydream

Imagine what you might be doing if you were six, 10, or 15 years old. Draw it or write it down, then take a moment to find a photo online that captures its essence. By accessing part of yourself that’s younger, you tap into a time before your aspirations and dreams were reshaped by society. Better yet, spend time with a child. Just watching and spending time around a child opens you up to the freedom and carefree feeling of being young.

6. Breathe

As one of my yoga teachers says, shallow breathing results in shallow experiences. Deep breathing, on the other hand, helps clear your mind, reduce stress, and reset your mood. An easy way to get started is by downloading The Mindfulness App, which Healthline called “straightforward and simple.” The quiet alerts, regular reminders, and customization options can make breathing such a routine part of your day that you may even find yourself needing to take mood-calibrating breaths less often.

7. Avoid the 4 Cs

There are four things you need to avoid to stay out a funk (not to mention office drama) in the first place: comparing, competing, criticizing, and complaining. If you catch yourself engaging in one of these unhealthy behaviors, redirect your attention to something happy, like a funny video, for an instant mood booster. (Just make sure the funny video doesn’t lead you to the latest dark headline or celebrity drama.)

8. Find a Quiet Space

Even if it means taking refuge in a bathroom stall, find a place where you can have a moment of quiet or move around and shake off the negative thoughts and feelings.

9. Listen to Music

Everyone has a few tunes that never fail to lighten their spirits. Put on some headphones, and crank it up. Better yet, play it out loud in your car, and sing along.

10. Take a Walk

Go for a walk, or try having a walking meeting. In addition to the health benefits, walking has shown to have amazing mood-boosting powers. Sometimes you just need a quick change of scenery to improve your state of mind.

There are a variety of other techniques that can help you shift your day from bad to better. Sometimes escaping a bad mood is all about remembering that, as author Regina Brett put it, “No one really has a bad life. Not even a bad day. Just bad moments.”

A bad moment is just a tiny fraction of your entire day, and a bad day is just one out of your entire life. The more good moments you create, the fewer bad days you’ll have, and the less glaring the bad ones will seem.

So the next time you feel like your day is going south, put these tips into practice, and let the good days commence.

Link to read the original article

 What Bosses Gain by Being Vulnerable

by Emma Seppälä

Brené Brown, an expert on social connection, conducted thousands of interviews to discover what lies at the root of social connection. A thorough analysis of the data revealed what it was: vulnerability. Vulnerability here does not mean being weak or submissive. To the contrary, it implies the courage to be yourself. It means replacing “professional distance and cool” with uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. Opportunities for vulnerability present themselves to us at work every day. Examples she gives of vulnerability include calling an employee or colleague whose child is not well, reaching out to someone who has just had a loss in their family, asking someone for help, taking responsibility for something that went wrong at work, or sitting by the bedside of a colleague or employee with a terminal illness.

More importantly, Brown describes vulnerability and authenticity as lying at the root of human connection. And human connection is often dramatically missing from workplaces. Johann Berlin, CEO of Transformational Leadership for Excellence recounts an experience he had while teaching a workshop in a Fortune 100 company. The participants were all higher-level management. After an exercise in which pairs of participants shared an event from their life with each other, one of the top executive managers approached Johann. Visibly moved by the experience, he said “I’ve worked with my colleague for over 25 years and have never known about the difficult times in his life.” In a short moment of authentic connection, this manager’s understanding and connection with his colleague deepened in ways it had not in decades of working together.

Why is human connection missing at work? As leaders and employees, we are often taught to keep a distance and project a certain image. An image of confidence, competence and authority. We may disclose our vulnerability to a spouse or close friend behind closed doors at night but we would never show it elsewhere during the day, let alone at work.

However, data is suggesting that we may want to revisit the idea of projecting an image. Research shows that onlookers subconsciously register lack of authenticity. Just by looking at someone, we download large amounts of information others. “We are programmed to observe each other’s states so we can more appropriately interact, empathize, or assert our boundaries, whatever the situation may require,” says Paula Niedenthal, Professor of Psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. We are wired to read each others’ expressions in a very nuanced way.  This process is called “resonance” and it is so automatic and rapid that it often happens below our awareness.

Like an acute sounding board, parts of our brain internally echo what others do and feel.  Just by looking at someone, you experience them. You internally resonated with them. Ever seen someone trip and momentarily felt a twinge of pain for them? Observing them activates the “pain matrix” in your brainresearch shows. Ever been moved by the sight of a person helping someone? You vicariously experienced it and thereby felt elevation. Someone’s smile activates the smile muscles in our faces, while a frown activates our frown muscles, according to research by Ulf Dimberg at Uppsala University in Sweden. We internally register what another person is feeling. As a consequence, if a smile is fake, we are more likely to feel uncomfortable than comfortable.

While we may try to appear perfect, strong or intelligent in order to be respected by others, pretense often has the opposite effect intended. Research by Paula Niedenthal shows that we resonate too deeply with one another to ignore inauthenticity. Just think of how uncomfortable you feel around someone you perceive as “taking on airs” or “putting on a show.” We tend to see right through them and feel less connected. Or think of how you respond when you know someone is upset, but they’re trying to conceal it. “What’s wrong?” you ask, only to be told, “Nothing!” Rarely does this answer satisfy – because we sense it’s not true.

Our brains are wired to read cues so subtle that even when we don’t consciously register the cues, our bodies respond. For example, when someone is angry but keeps their feelings bottled up we may not realize that they are angry (they don’tlook angry) but still our blood pressure will increase, according to research by James Gross at Stanford University.

Why do we feel more comfortable around someone who is authentic and vulnerable?  Because we are particularly sensitive to signs of trustworthiness in our leaders.  Servant leadership, for example, which is characterized by authenticity and values-based leadership, yields more positive and constructive behavior in employees and greater feelings of hope and trust in both the leader and the organization. In turn, trust in a leader improves employee performance. You can even see this at the level of the brain. Employees who recall a boss who resonated with them show enhanced activation in parts of the brain related to positive emotion and social connection.  The reverse is true when they think of a boss who did not resonate.

One example of authenticity and vulnerability is forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn’t mean tolerance of error but rather a patient encouragement of growth. Forgiveness is what is described by Patchirajan’s employee as, “She does not get upset when we make mistakes but gives us the time to learn how to analyze and fix the situation.” Forgiveness may be another soft-sounding term but, as University of Michigan researcher Kim Cameron shows points out, it has hard results: a culture of forgiveness in organizations can lead to increased employee productivity as well as less voluntary turnover.  Again, the impact of a culture that is forgiving breeds trust. As a consequence, an organization becomes more resilient in times of organizational stress or down-sizing.

Why do we fear vulnerability or think it inappropriate for a workplace? For one, we are afraid that if someone finds out who we really are, or discovers a soft or vulnerable spot, they will take advantage of us. However, as I also described in my last post on “The Hard Data on Being a Nice Boss,” kindness goes further than the old sink-or-swim paradigm.

Here’s what may happen if you embrace an authentic and vulnerable stance:  Your staff will see you as a human being; they may feel closer to you; they may be prompted to share advice; and – if you are attached to hierarchy – you may find that your team begins to feel more horizontal.  While these types of changes may feel uncomfortable, you may see that, as they did for Archana, the benefits are worth it.

There are additional benefits you may reap from a closer connection to employees. One study out of Stanford shows that CEOs are looking for more advice and counsel but that two thirds of them do not get it. This isolation can skew perspectives and lead to potentially disadvantageous leadership choices. Who better to receive advice from than your own employees, who are intimately familiar with your product, your customers, and problems that might exist within the organization?

Rather than feeling like another peg in the system, your team will feel respected and honored for their opinion and consequently become more loyal. The research shows that the personal connection and happiness employees derive from their work fosters greater loyalty than the amount on their paycheck.

Link to read the original Harvard Business Review article

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Practical tools and techniques you can find in this collection…

Make Your Commute More Tolerable with a Little Mindfulness

by Dave Greenbaum

The Harvard Business Review looked at the benefits of starting your drive to work with a mindfulness practice:

To use your daily driving commute to help you practice conscious thinking and improve your mindfulness, start by getting into the car and acknowledging the intention that you aspire to be mindful during the commute. Take a few deep breaths. Once buckled up, but before you start to drive, become aware of your body. Feel your hands on the steering wheel, the contour of your body on the seat, your foot on the pedal. Make an effort to be aware of the body and feel present. Start to drive and notice that you are “looking” as you drive: through your windshield, into your mirrors. Now become aware that you are “listening.” Notice the sounds you hear.

The idea is that you are continuously aware of three things: your body, what you see, and what you hear. This is what it is to be mindfully present as you drive. Do your best to stay present for the entire commute.

Set your phone to do-not-disturb and keep your focus on your driving. If your focus waivers, gently bring it back to the drive. Instead of arriving to work stressed, you’ll arrive aware and ready for the day.

Read the original Lifehacker article

11 Soft Skills Your Next Boss Needs to See in You

Members of the Young Entrepreneur Council give their different answers to the question:

“What is the one soft skill you look for in a new candidate?”

  1. Empathy…
  2. Sense of Humour…
  3. Communication skills…
  4. Autonomy…
  5. Patience…
  6. Passion…
  7. An internal locus of control…
  8. Decision making skills…
  9. Drive…
  10. Initiative…
  11. Quick wit…

Link to read the original article

20 Leadership Experts Share Their Best Leadership Tip

by John Brandon
Here is my slimmed down list of favourites from these pearls of wisdom of successful leadership experts…

Good leaders all have one thing in common: They know how to seek advice. It’s a bit like parenting. No one who raises a child for the first time understands the job perfectly. You have to keep learning and growing. These experts know the drill. They’ve written about their experiences in leadership, spoken in front of mass audiences, and honed their skills over many years. Here are their single best tips, exclusive just to this list.

1. Don’t hide anything from employees

“Your team can tell if you’re hiding something. It makes them uncertain or suspicious, both of which you don’t want. Lay out the rules of the game as you see them with your team. Let the team know where they are; work on a plan to go forward. Keep individuals up to date on their status as it relates to the group. All this forces you to have and share your vision, which is what makes you a great leader in the first place.”

Tony Scherba, President and Founder of Yeti

2. Show empathy in tangible ways

“You can’t just be sympathetic and try to be liked every time someone comes to you with a problem or concern. But you need to be able to understand the problems, as well as that person’s point of view. You can’t just dismiss them out of hand. And if you’re able to see things from their point of view and truly be empathetic, you’ll be able to frame your response in a way that will prove you’ve heard them, and also answer their specific concerns. They might not always be happy, but it will lead to more acceptance if you have to tell them something they’re not eager to hear.”

John Turner, the CEO of UsersThink

3. Learn how to lead the younger generation

“Leaders of younger generations are from the most social generation in history. They are in constant contact with peers and family through iMessages and social media sites. But they are also highly isolated because so much of their relational contact is through technology. This has led to poor people skills, low emotional intelligence, and the inability to handle interpersonal challenges. Leaders should work to build relationships one-on-one. A helpful way to do so: Join industry or peer communities to take advantage of meeting and networking in person. Not only will this help their professional development but also help them learn to communicate on a level playing field with those of various generations and years of experience.”

Tim Elmore, a speaker, author and president of Growing Leaders

4. Don’t be afraid of the truth

“Be willing to look at the truth, no matter how uncomfortable. That includes truths about yourself, your product, your people. If your product stinks and your people aren’t performing, pretending that just ain’t so won’t change anything. At the same time, don’t beat yourself up. Just look at it, address it, and move on.”

Katherine Hosie, Powerhouse Coaching Inc.

5. Think like Swiss cheese

“Be candid with yourself and acknowledge what you know and don’t know. Select supportive team members who possess the skills necessary to take the business in the right direction. See yourself as a piece of Swiss cheese–know your holes and add others (slices) whose substance, when layered on your slice, eventually creates a solid, firm unified block of cheese. A single slice of cheese with its many holes can easily be pulled apart, but a solid block is very difficult to pull apart.”

Richard J.Avdoian, the President and CEO of Midwest Business Institute, Inc.

6. Be human, not humanoid

“Humanoids show (and feel) no emotion at all. Ever. They are incapable of it. You may think there is no room for emotion in the workplace, but think again. There’s already emotion there–too bad much of it is negative. Let some positive emotion flow between you and your people. Get to know them better … and let them get to know you better. People will go to the wall for people they know, like, admire, and respect. But if they don’t know the first thing about you (or vice versa), how can they feel as though they know you, or have a relationship or anything at all in common with you? Humans truly connect with each other on a personal level, not a business level. You don’t have to be “best buds,” but you must have at least a few human elements in common in order to effectively work together to accomplish common business goals. One way to be more human is to realize that simply saying, ‘Hello, how are you?’ each morning does not constitute a relationship. Get out and talk with different people occasionally; ask about their families, pets, hobbies … and share yours. Remember their names (and the names of their significant others/children/pets); ask about a tough situation they’ve gone through. When they know you really care about them, they will care more about you, and this will bridge the divide and help eliminate the ‘Us’ and ‘Them’ mentality.”

Sandy Geroux, the CEO (Chief Entertainment Officer) of WOWplace, International

7. Never forget your responsibility

“My best leadership tip is to think of leadership as a responsibility as much as an opportunity. Effective leaders understand that they are responsible for everyone that they are leading, and consider that responsibility as the main concern of their position. If you ever lose empathy for, and dedication to, the people you are leading, you are not being a leader.”

Michael Talve, the Founder and Managing Director of The Expert Institute

8. Get comfortable in dynamic environments

“In today’s dynamic and uncertain business environment, the most successful firms are able to act quickly and decisively in response to change. Strong self-efficacy, high achievement, autonomy, and the ability to take decisive actions in the face of uncertainty and dynamic environments are critical capabilities for an organization. Preparing individuals to evaluate a dynamic environment and act in the face of uncertainty is a particular strength of the military and it should be a priority for executive training programs. It all begins with having a clear vision and a specific mission that empowers people to act in alignment with the company objectives.”

Damian McKinney, the CEO of McKinney Rogers and author of The Commando Way

9. Surround yourself with people who are smarter than you

“Leaders find success when they create teams composed of people who are experts in their areas, and many times, smarter than the leader who’s hiring them. Great leaders give them room to grow and innovate. These are the leaders who people want to work for. Unlike the micromanager leader whose insecurity leads them to create teams that include people ‘just like them.’ These teams may make the leader feel comfortable, versus challenged for the purposes of creating the best work.”

Tatiana Lyons, the Principal and Owner of Your Creativity Leads

10. Take someone in training along with you on mundane tasks

“Several years ago I had to go to the Department of Motor Vehicles to renew my license–a task that sometimes could mean three to four hours of waiting. There was a college student who was working for our church as an intern for a college credit. He wanted to learn the ins and outs of church leadership, so I asked him to come along to the DMV. Sure enough, it was a three-hour wait, but I spent that time answering all of the intern’s questions about leadership. It was real quality time to invest in the young man. Now when I have a task that will involve a long wait time (such as going to the DMV or doctor’s office or waiting for a plane flight or going on a long ride in the car, etc.), I take along a developing leader to invest in him or her.”

Chris Elrod, the Senior Pastor at Impact! Church

11. Let employees in on your vision

“Be as transparent as you can with all of your team members. The more they know, the more you all are part of the same dream and vision and you’ll all work harder to get where you need to go as a team. If you’re keeping information from your team members, they’ll lose trust and start to feel like they’re not contributing to the bigger picture. That’s when they look elsewhere.”

John Hingley, co-founder of startup Dasheroo

12. Honor the past, built for the future

“When you’re leading a new team or joining a new organization, honor the new team/organization’s past, and then build them a bridge to the future. Too many leaders inherit a new team and want to tell everyone how much success they had in the past, and how good their old organization/team was. When leaders disrespect their new team, team members start asking each other the following questions: If your old organization or team was so good, why did you leave? If your old organization is so good, why don’t you go back?”

Peter Barron Stark, a consultant, speaker, and author

13. Have a clear vision and communicate it to your team

“Know what your future looks like, feels like, and acts like. It has to be a compelling vision that gets your people excited and focused. Latch onto that picture as though it has already happened. Transport yourself into the future so you can see it with picture clarity. Share it with your team so they can see it and do what it takes to achieve it.”

Brian Scudamore, the Founder and CEO of 1-800-GOT-JUNK?, WOW 1 DAY PAINTINGand You Move Me

14. Make it a priority to develop your current leaders, nurture your future leaders, and hire great leaders

“Strong leadership is one of the key pillars of success at any organization. People aren’t necessarily born with great leadership skills. As such, organizations can’t just sit back and hope people will be great leaders. Leaders need to be shaped and molded. And by leaders, I don’t just mean executives–I mean managers at every level of the organization. Too often frontline managers are overlooked when it comes to leadership development, when the reality is that 70 percent to 80 percent of the workforce reports to frontline managers. The results of a study we did with Harvard Business Review Analytic Services reveals 79 percent of global executives believe lack of frontline leadership capability negatively impacts company performance. As such, it’s critical to the success of any organization that these people be given the tools, resources, and development to succeed.”

Dominique Jones, the Vice President of Human Resources for Halogen Software

15. Always lead with character

“Leaders with character are highly effective. They have no need to pull rank or resort to command and control to get results. Instead, they’re effective because they’re knowledgeable, admired, trusted, and respected. This helps them secure buy-in automatically, without requiring egregious rules or strong oversight designed to force compliance.”

Frank Sonnenberg, author of the book Follow Your Conscience

16. Nurture a better self-awareness

“Leadership has got nothing to do with figuring it out and everything to do with feeling it out. It is an ‘awareness,’ and for so long in my businesses, I too was not aware. Leaders aren’t born; they evolve. And to evolve you must first be self-aware. To develop leadership skills, allow yourself to be open, honest, and real. Be confident, not arrogant. Confident leaders lead through values, vision, and vulnerability. Arrogant leaders lead through fear, blame, and ego.”

Troy Hazard, a TV host, business owner, former Global President of the Entrepreneurs’ Organization, and author of the book Future-Proofing Your Business

17. Good leadership is about good alignment

“If you think about achieving your vision, it’s like climbing a mountain. Executives and managers think they have to be all buttoned up and have the path up the mountain all mapped out, then they shout the directions back down to their organization. But really, leadership is about alignment, and that means we can achieve a lot more if we all go up that mountain together.”

Sonya Shelton, founder and owner of Executive Leadership Consulting

18. It’s not about you

“Repeat the words, ‘It’s not about me!’ every day, multiple times a day. Don’t make your leadership about being in charge, being right, getting promoted, or looking the best. Make leadership about the cause of the organization, serving the legitimate needs of those you’re leading, and not taking yourself so darn seriously. You’ll have people lining up to work for and with you and the results will follow.”

Jeff Harmon, author of The Anatomy of the Principled Leader and founder ofBrilliance Within Coaching and Consulting

19. Use the right posture for leadership

“Your posture and body language needs to be intentional and consistent. Always be aware of your posture when you are sitting, standing and walking. Roll shoulders up, back, and down. Straighten your spine; leaders don’t slouch. Nor do they intimidate with off-putting body language such as crossed arms, puffed out chest and finger waving. Align your appearance, head-to-toe, with how you wish to be known. Aligning your appearance also means dressing the part head-to-toe. This includes wardrobe, haircut, eyeglasses and even shoes. Leaders look the part–not like they just rolled out of bed. A pressed dress shirt or wool sweater, well-fitting trousers, leather shoes and belt is a good uniform to adopt. A tie and/or sport jacket give extra bonus points for executive presence. Update your eyeglasses every other year and get a good haircut. Dress, head-to-toe, as the leader you want to be.”

Marian Rothschild, a Certified Personal Image Consultant and best selling author.

20. Be a curious leader

“When we are curious with others, we learn, we collaboration, and we innovate. When leaders aren’t curious, they tend to judge, tell, blame, and even shame without realizing it. This creates conflict, frustration, narrows perspectives and opportunities, and prohibits collaboration, innovation, and understanding. Based on our 10 years working with leaders, we know that they know they need a new language to be successful; however, they don’t know how to access it. Curiosity allows you to access that language to meet the leadership needs of the 21st century.”

Kirsten Siggins, the Co-founder of Institute of Curiosity and a Certified Executive Coach.

Link to read the original article

Resolutions Are Too Hard To Keep Unless You Have A Plan

Here is some great ideas from VIA Institute of Character for using your top strengths to activate this year’s resolutions and best intentions…

Before you’ve had enough time to clean up the glittery confetti from your New Year’s celebrations many people are already brainstorming goals and resolutions for the coming year. And why not?! It’s the perfect time to self-assess and make a plan to begin living a happier, healthier life. For many people though, the problem is not making the resolution, it is keeping it. If this sounds like you—you’re not alone. Fewer than 10% of people that make a new year’s goal actually stick with it for the entire year. So, how can you make sure you are in that small group of success stories when 2015 comes to a close?

Use your signature strengths! 
Research by Alex Linley shows that strengths play an important role in helping individuals achieve their goals and ultimately experience greater well-being. Your signature strengths are those characteristics that come most naturally to you. You have a strong desire to use them and a sense of ownership and authenticity when you do. Therefore, it is easier for you to achieve a goal when you actively use your signature strengths to pursue it. As an added bonus, Linley’s team finds that strengths can “be an important part of an affective learning loop in which progress leads to well-being which, in turn, motivates sustained effort and leads to further goal progress.” In other words, strengths use leads to an upward spiral of further goal attainment and even more strengths use.

The first step in aligning your strengths with your 2015 goals is discovering what your Signature Strengths are.  The next phase is self-reflection and planning. How will these personal values contribute to daily progress on your goal? Let’s take a moment to review one of the most common New Year’s Resolutions from a signature strengths perspective to give you some ideas.

New Year’s Goal: Exercise More and Lose Weight
Here are some examples of how you can use your signature strengths to stick with this 2015 resolution:

Love: Choose a close friend or family member to become your “workout buddy”. Plan time each week to meet at the gym, a yoga class or in your own basement to exercise and spend time with one another. On the days you feel unmotivated remind yourself that you made a commitment to this person and your workout is an opportunity to be together.

Fairness: Get involved in a team sport, such as basketball or soccer, and make it your mission to ensure that everyone on the court or field gets the chance to participate—pass the ball often and monitor everyone’s playing time. When disputes arise, step in to mediate and find the most impartial solution.

HumorDownload Pandora or Spotify and find your favorite comedian’s stand-up routine. Plug in your headphones, get on the treadmill or stationary bike and laugh as you melt away the pounds.

Curiosity
: Find a gym that offers a variety of exercise classes and has helpful employees. Take a new class each week and learn how to use all of the strength-training machines and props. With all of the different options your curiosity will keep you coming back for more!

How will your signature strengths help you on your 2015 journey?

Happiness At Work edition #120

You can find more articles about and practical ideas about relaxation and overcoming stress, as well as top tips for making greater leadership, self-mastery and happiness at work in this week’s new collection here